WTF - Dishwasher Etiquette

Two constants my kitchen:

Loading a dishwasher is considered a work of art and,

I'd rather rearrange the dishwasher for 30 minutes before hand washing that one cup.

The first time I put the kids in charge of the dishwasher started with a "Put your cereal bowl and spoon in the dishwasher."

The bowl was on the top rack of the dishwasher facing the wrong way, the spoon inside of it.

What?

So I posted a letter on the refrigerator in our kitchen:

"Dear Children,
The dishwasher is the silver appliance next to the sink under the counter.
It is not your beautiful, wonderful, feeling quite young mother.
Sincerely,
Mom"

Then I decided explaining my dishwasher loading strategy:

Me: "Kids, think of loading the dishwasher like a piece of art. Remember all the Lego are you created? Fitting everything in the dishwasher is a lot like Legos, the goal is getting everything in the kitchen into the dishwasher in one load."

Son after 15 minutes of loading the dishwasher, "This isn't as fun as Legos."

Me behind them rearranging the dishwasher.

Some advice when loading the dishwasher:

A good pre rinse ensures your dishes will come out clean, especially fried egg  yolk.

Enter the dog.

My dog is a Pavlov study, she appears drooling at the creaking sound opening the dishwasher.

When loading remember:

The plastic containers - top rack or you'll get amazing pieces of warped art. It is a constant that containers go in with lids, come out without them. Plastic container lids go into the same place as extra socks out of the dryer.

If you drink out of it, it goes on the top rack. Martini glasses, wine glasses, champagne glasses, but I digress.

Plates always go on the bottom rack, they have a special place keeping them separated for their cleaning pleasure.

Here's where the hubby and I argue, if I have pots or large bowls I put them on the top rack so they don't restrict the water getting from the bottom to the top of the dishwasher. My hubby does it the other way, and both are guilty of rearranging the dishwasher behind the other.

Save yourself time arranging and separating silverware before you wash them.

Turning it on, try to forget this thought, "It takes the dishwasher long washing the dishes than it would take you washing it by hand."

Two things can ruin my morning:

Stepping in dog pee and,

A full dishwasher of clean dishes and I'm the first one finding it.

Which is why the night before when someone said "The dishwasher is loaded" I thought they were talking about me, not the actual dishwasher.

But wait, isn't that me?